The House with a Clock in Its Walls

"[First lines, writing letter] Dear Lewis: Enclosed, please find one bus ticket and two silver dollars for your trip to Michigan. Im really sorry about the loss of your parents. Your mom was my sister, so that makes you family. And Ill do my best to make you feel right at home. As Einstein said, life is like a bicycle. To stay balanced, you got to keep moving forward. And so will we. I look forward to meeting you. Your Uncle Jonathan. PS Sorry for the stain on the letter. Thats chocolate."

"[To Lewis] I can give you the right books, teach you the right spells, but that last 1%, thats up to you."

"We dont know where the clock is or what it does, except something horrible. No, we gotta do the responsible thing: lie to the kid."

"[Upon being surrounded by possessed pumpkins] Oh, my giddy aunt."

"Braxton Bjerken as Woody Mingo"

"Theres a clock in the walls. We dont know what it does, except... something horrible."

"[Upon being surrounded by possessed pumpkins] Dont worry, their teeth are made of pumpkin, they cant really hurt us. [Pumpkin projectile vomits in his face] Okay, I made that one up."

"Owen Vaccaro as Lewis Barnavelt"

"Kyle MacLachlan as Isaac Izard"

"[While Jonathan is playing the saxophone, to Lewis] Be a dear: fetch a knife and stab me in the ears."

"Youre invited somewhere timeless."

"Jack Black as Jonathan Barnavelt"