The Omega Man

"Hi. Another day, another dollar."

"[to the "Family"] SHUT UP! Why the hell cant you leave me alone?"

"Isnt he? Isnt he a sullen b- [stops when he hears the "Family" outside]"

"[first lines, as the last man on earth wrecks his car] Theres never a cop around when you need one."

"You know the old song? If you were the only girl in the world, and I was the only boy, well, okay, but until then, dont bother me? Well, I guess Im the only boy...."

"[later, to the bust of Caesar] What day is it, anyway? Monday? Huh? The hell it is. Its Sunday. Sunday I always dress for dinner."

"And Speedy Bob Neville- his great legs churning goes speeding across the finish line with a three minute and fifty second mile. Go ahead, lets see some son-of-a-bitch beat that."

"[Enters a car dealership in search of a new car, talks to a decomposed corpse of a car salesman] Cannot say I am too crazy about the paint job...Thanks a lot you cheating bastard."

"[talking to his own image on a TV screen] Hi, Big Brother, hows your ass?"

"[Unsure whether or not he saw a healthy human woman or if it just his imagination] Is this how it starts? A trip to the laughing academy? No, you silly bastard, it starts with you asking yourself silly questions. Okay, lets get cleaned up."

"[hearing the "Family" loudly holding a book-burning revel] At it again, I see? What will it be tonight? Museum of Science? Some library? Poor miserable bastards."

"[To a bust of Julius Caesar set up near a chessboard] Your move, Imperator."