Vernon Coleman

"Colemans explanation suggests he has an oddly polarised view of gender - but then this is a man whose very fixed ideas about women are not noticeably informed by feminism. In People Watching (1995), women are not only warned away from big cars, but advised to "carry a small handbag to give an impression of helplessness. A large handbag will give the impression that you are totally independent and do not need to be protected by a male." In 1987 he said it was a "tragedy" that by the year 2000 half of all doctors qualifying from medical school would be women. "I thnk that is an appalling prospect... Women make wonderful nurses-they make rotten doctors." The main problem, he explained, was that neither male nor female nurses liked taking orders from women doctors: "Because they feel inferior they feel the need to push that little bit harder than anyone else."

"[From full-page advertisements placed by Coleman for his book Oil Apocalypse] This isnt a script for a horror movie [...] The lorry that collects your rubbish wont be running. Streetlights wont burn. Hospitals will have to close . . . There wont be any more television programmes. You wont be able to charge your mobile telephone. Within a generation, five out of six people on the planet will be dead. Ill repeat, five out of six people on the planet will be dead."

"I suppose I try and write in blood a lot of the time. I suppose a lot of it is violent in that if I get angry about something, I dont try to hide it."

"The bloody minded live longer – especially if they are marooned in one of those appalling places we call hospitals. Complain a good deal and ask as many questions as you can. Make a fuss and remind everyone in a uniform or a white coat that you are a human being."

"[Editors had asked him to tone down his columns] I shout at them. They shout at me. I resign and stamp my feet. Im terrible — probably the most difficult columnist in Britain to deal with."

"Carry a stout stick. I recommend carrying a stick even if you dont need it for support. Sticks are good for hitting and prodding people who have annoyed or patronised you."