Waiting for Guffman

"Dr. Allan Pearl: People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasnt. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him."

"Ron Albertson: If theres an empty space, just fill it with a line, thats what I like to do. Even if its from another show."

"Mayor Glenn Welsch: Theres a saying in Missouri, if you dont like the weather just wait five minutes. In Blaine, with hard work, I think we can get that down to three or four minutes."

"Theres A Good Reason Some Talent Remains Undiscovered."

"Its like in a Hitchcock movie, you know, where they tie you up in a rubber bag and throw you in the trunk of a car. You find people."

"Its a Zen thing, like "how many babies fit in a tire," you know, the old joke."

"Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE!"

"Michael Hitchcock - Steve Stark - Councilman"

"Steve Stark, Councilman: He can act and he can sing and he can dance. Theres only one other person in the world who can do all that, and thats Barbra Streisand."

"Me, you know, right out of the navy, you know, fresh off a destroyer, with a dance belt and a tube of chapstick, basically, you know, not really much to call my own, and then basically being slammed down for ten or so years off off off off Broadway, and then, enough is enough, OK, I get the joke."

"I think that the elements, as Dr. Watson said to Sherlock, "are coming together, sir." I was shopping for my wife, Bonnie (I buy most of her clothes). And Mrs. Pearl was in the same shop, and it just was an accident. Yknow, we started talking... about pantyhose. She was saying—w-whatever, thats not the point of the story, but what the point is was that through this accidental meeting—its like, yknow, its like a Hitchcock movie, where, you know, youre thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car. You find people; you find them. Something... It—is it karma? Maybe. But we found him; thats the important thing—and I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit."

"A New Comedy from the lead guitarist of Spinal Tap"