Will Rogers

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

"You cant say that civilization dont advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way."

"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. Thats one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."

"Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is."

"But its just as Mr. Brisbane and I have been constantly telling you, "Dont gamble"; take all your savings and buy some good stock, and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it dont go up, dont buy it."

"This would be a great world to dance in if we didnt have to pay the fiddler."

"You never get a second chance to make a good first impression."

"This election was lost four and five and six years ago not this year. They dident start thinking of the old common fellow till just as they started out on the election tour. The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover was an engineer. He knew that water trickled down. Put it uphill and let it go and it will reach the dryest little spot. But he dident know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellows hands. They saved the big banks but the little ones went up the flue."

"Dont let yesterday use up too much of today."

"When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with."

"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."

"I am not so much concerned with the return on capital as I am with the return of capital."