Arthur Guiterman

I breathed a song into the air; That little song of beauty rare Is flying still, for all I know, Around the world by Radio.

The three-toed tree-toad Sings his sweet ode To the moon; The funny bunny And his honey Trip in tune.

He stood with his muzzle thrust out through the door The whole forty days of that terrible pour! Because of which drenching, the Sages unfold, The Nose of a Healthy Dog always is Cold.

Oh, who would choose to be a traveler?— That anxious railway-guide unraveler Who spends his nights in berths and bunks, His days in chaperoning trunks; Who stands in line at gates and wickets To spend his means on costly tickets

The finest thing in London is the Bobby; Benignant information is his hobby.

Drab is the town as a shawl-hooded crone, And dreary and cold with a chill all its own. You ask them for bread and they give you a scone, In Glasgow.

For Education is, Making Men; So is it now, so was it when Mark Hopkins sat on one end of a log And James Garfield sat on the other.

Bless the four corners of this house, And be the lintel blest; And bless the hearth and bless the board And bless each place of rest.

Hail Guest! We ask not what thou art: If Friend, we greet thee, hand and heart; If Stranger, such no longer be; If Foe, our love shall conquer thee.

Oh, the saddest of sights in a world of sin Is a little lost pup with his tail tucked in!

The Cat on your hearthstone to this day presages, By solemnly sneezing, the coming of rain!

It's lovely having grass and trees and flowers (Of course, at times, mosquitoes are a pest). Yes, life is life out here in Rangely Towers (Of course Some People like the city best)!

Commute with me, my Love, and be merry; How vain in the City to dwell When apple-trees blow in Dobbs' Ferry And lilacs adorn New Rochelle! White Plains is the Garden of Allah And Pelham's the Pearl of the Sea;

The Pilgrims landed, worthy men, And, saved from wreck on raging seas, They fell upon their knees, and then Upon the Aborigines.

The Prophet's Cam-u-el, that primal Desert Ship.

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up; They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;— It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls Of mastodons, are billiard balls.The sword of Charlemagne the Just Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.The grizzly bear, whose potent hug Was feared by all, is now a rug.Great Caesar's bust is on the …

Of all cold words of tongue or pen The worst are these: "I knew him when ——"

The Fawns don't dine When a Wolf's about, And the Porcupine Puts his quill points out.

They earned a name that lives in song, Those woodsmen stout and plucky Whose hair and rifles both were long— The Hunters of Kentucky.

'Tis Sex that rules the lives Of clowns and kings; It gives us books and wives And other things—Ambition, love and strife And all the ills And ecstacies of life,

Amœbas at the start Were not complex; They tore themselves apart, And started Sex.