Jerome K. Jerome

There are the goods; if you want them, you can have them. If you do not want them, they would almost rather that you did not come and talk about them.

There are two kinds of clocks. There is the clock that is always wrong, and that knows it is wrong, and glories in it; and there is the clock that is always right — except when you rely upon it, and then it is more wrong than you would …

It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.