Will Rogers

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

But it's just as Mr. Brisbane and I have been constantly telling you, "Don't gamble"; take all your savings and buy some good stock, and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.

When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with."

I never met a man I didn't like.

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

Papers say: "Congress is deadlocked and can't act." I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

Humanity is not yet ready for either real truth or real harmony.

It would wreck the very foundation on which our political government is run ... If you ever injected truth into politics you'd have no politics

The chances are telling the truth is what got him there