"I chose Mount Rushmore, cause to live in a country where you can take an ugly old mountain and put faces on it, faces of great Americans who did so much to make our country super great, well that makes me, Rebecca Leeman, proud to be an American."
"Tammy: Maybe other people think I cant win a beauty pageant, but other people didnt think I could beat out Becky Leeman for President of the gun club either, and I did. Its just like Anthony Robins says, "Im a winner, nobody can stop me, but me"."
"Hello Father Donnagan, sidewalks? sidewalks? Iris, stop it, its not his fault. The communal wine just proves too tempting for some of them."
"Oh my God! My baby. That swan ate my baby. Baby, please, get out, we gotta go to State!"
"Annette: I shoved your tap shoes in my panties before I was blown out of the house, you go find the guy who cut them off, hell give em to you so you can practice for the pageant."
"Oh no, my mom never kept a secret of the fact my dad chose his career over us. What was it she used to say? Once a carnie, always a carnie. Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top."
"Leslie: Theyll never let you perform naked, I asked."