Second base... [underthrows second baseman] shit. — Major League

"[He tries to throw a runner out, talking to himself] Dont bounce the damn ball...[Overthrows the second baseman] Nice throw, dickhead."

"[about to find out whether hes made the team] Come on Jake. Its only your life."

"[to Rexman] Hey, Rexman! Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, you guys trailing by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television–if you dont blow it. By the way, I saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You must be very very proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? Oh, Im sure hes a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? [Rexman pops the ball straight up] Uh-oh, Rexy I dont think this ones got the distance."

"In case you havent noticed, and judging by the attendance you havent, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar."

"[preparing for Vaughns first pitch to Heywood. Vaughn shakes off the breaking pitches, until Taylor finally signals for a fastball, which Vaughn nods at] Alright, Ricky. Lets get nasty."

"Just a reminder fans about Die Hard Night coming up here in the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant. [35 years prior.]"