"Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To us, sex is an emergency, and no matter what were doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. Theyre very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur."
Jerome Allen Seinfeld is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, filmmaker, and television producer specializing in observational comedy. Seinfeld gained stardom playing a fictionalized version of himself in the NBC sitcom Seinfeld (1989–1998), which he co-created and wrote with Larry David. Seinfeld earned a Golden Globe Award for Best Actor – Television Series Musical or Comedy in 1995. Th
"I was the only guy, by the way, in the early 80s [who] was welcome on your show and Carson; usually, it was kind of-- that was-- there was a bit of a wall there. [...] If you were a Carson comic, you were probably not young enough or cool enough for Late Night. And vice-versa. But I for some reason was able to go back and forth, and I was always very proud of that, in the early days."
"Do you think if they only made one Hangover -- and didnt make the other two -- it would be considered a comedy classic? Do you think that you destroyed what would have been a comedy classic, by the cash grab of II and III?"
"Ive figured out that the "non-event" is the best part of life."
"I was petrified when [my parents] first saw me [perform]. Well, also: because I wasnt really funny as a kid, and I felt like I was, yknow, exposing this alter-ego. Yknow? Plus, here I am getting up on stage and manipulating these people, yknow, into laughing. Its a power thing! Yknow? And its weird to do it in front of your parents."
"There is absolutely nothing you can do on a date to help you feel better about the tremendously uncomfortable situation youre in. And the reason its uncomfortable is that no ones on the date for the date. Theyre on the date to see whats going to happen at the end of the date."
"Men will always say they love women as a group, but somehow seem to be less fond of them as individuals. Women, on the other hand, often appreciate the man theyre with but almost never have anything nice to say about our sex as a group. [...] Women are afraid of men they dont know. Men are afraid of women they know very well."