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"Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth."
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Dave BarrySuddenly, I noticed something: my wallet and keys are exactly where I — Dave Barry
"Suddenly, I noticed something: my wallet and keys are exactly where I left them. So either the spirits decided not to move them or—we cannot rule this out – they moved them and then moved them back."
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Dave Barry
Dave Barry
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David McAlister Barry is an American author and columnist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comic novels and children's novels. Barry's honors include the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary (1988) and the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism (2005).
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"The problem is, when Oprah lost all that weight, her head didnt get any smaller. And so she looks kind of like a person carrying a balloon."
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Dave BarryQuote
"The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes."
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Dave BarryQuote
"I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to."
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Dave BarryQuote
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
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Dave BarryQuote
"First of all, lets dispense with this absurd stereotype that the French are rude. The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you."
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Dave Barry