[when asked whether 900 "portaloos" are needed for his soldiers] Well — Dead Ringers

"£250,000. 22 identical sealed boxes. A tiny, tiny beard. And no questions, except one. Where the hell do I buy my shirts?"

"We cant use the rivers as they have been infested by the plague."

"(when asked why he was travelling in a train) Because the TARDIS was destroyed when I took it to Kwikfit!"

"You miserable gits, this is your Prime Minister…"

"Could it resist a tractor beam?"

"Im Professor Robert Winston, the only Super Mario brother who didnt become a plumber" and "Im Professor Robert Winston, a shrink-wrapped version of Tom Selleck."