Ah-ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo-oo!!! I ain't dirty: I washed me face and hands…

No public man in these islands ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means; and I have no reason to hope that Mr Coote may be an exception to the rule.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

Patriotism is, fundamentally, a conviction that a particular country is the best in the world because you were born in it...

Pasteboard pies and paper flowers are being banished from the stage by the growth of that power of accurate observation which is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it...

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler. I don't like beer.