Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy

The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

Having fun is a dismal business after you pass fifty.

A small man always has one weapon he can use against a great big man: he can "talk" about him.

Men are virtuous because the women are; women are virtuous from necessity.

A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.

People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy.