Evan Almighty

"[signing off for the last time] I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Goodnight."

"I now issue a new commandment: "Thou shalt do the dance."

"(Joan and the kids have just left him) I know, I know. Everything you do, you do because you love me. (A sprinkler blasts him in the face) Do me a favor; love me less!"

"[after the Ark crashes into Congress) We can walk from here."

"And he wanted me to wear this robe because he thought it would be funny."

"[With his arms and staff outstretched to the looming Memorial Bridge, as the Ark is fast approaching it.] I command thee halt! Stop! Woah! [Nothing happens] How about a little help here?! [Suddenly the whole right side of the Ark falls dark, as a massive wave four times the size and height of the Ark rises up and crashes down redirecting its path instantly down Capital Mall.]"

"[Is using ancient tools to build the ark] Ever heard of Home Depot!?"

"People, the flood is imminent! (nothing happens) IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A LITTLE PRECIPITATION!?"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!!!"

"Why are all of these animals following Evan Baxter? God only knows."

"(two wolves growl at Long) Dont look now Congressman but the wolves are here. Although I wouldnt worry so much about these wolves but those. (Evan gestures to the angry members of Congress standing behind Long)"

"(to Long after the Ark crashes into Congress] Hello Congressman. Mind if I park my boat here?"