Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"[after his parents have left, thinking he is ill] They bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick day this semester. Its getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, Im probably gonna have to barf up a lung, so Id better make this one count. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. Its a good non-specific symptom. Im a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh, you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctors office. Thats worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when youre bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. Its a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you dont stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasnt bullshit. Its on European socialism. I mean really, whats the point. Im not European. I dont plan on being European, so who gives a crap if theyre socialists. They could be fascist anarchists and it still doesnt change the fact that I dont own a car."

"Its not that I condone fascism or any ism for that matter. Isms, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: I dont believe in Beatles. I just believe in me. A good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. Id still have to bum rides off of people."

"If anybody needs a day off its Cameron. Hes got a lotta things to sort out before he graduates. He cant be wound up this tight and go to college. His roommatell kill him. Pardon my French, but Cameron is so uptight, if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in 2 weeks, youd have a diamond."

"Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobodys ever been in love with him. If things dont change for him, hes gonna marry the first girl he lays, and shes gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She wont respect him, cause you cant respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesnt work."

"[after he barely gets back in bed, and his parents leave the room] Yep. Ive said it before and Ill say it again. Life moves pretty fast. If you dont stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"[last line; in post-credits scene] [to home audience; after emerging from his bedroom] Youre still here? Its over. Go home. [walks back to his bedroom; shoos audience away] Go."

"One Mans Struggle to Take It Easy"

"[discovers that Ferris has been faking being sick and sneaking out of the house by finding a mannequin in his bed] I KNEW IT!!!"

"Matthew Broderick - Ferris Bueller"

"Charlie Sheen - Boy in Police Station"

"[on the phone after her encounter with Rooney] Look, this is not a phony phone call. There is an intruder, male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird, in my kitchen. My names Bueller. [pause] Look, its real nice that you hope my brothers feeling better, but Im in danger. Okay? Im very cute, Im very alone, and Im very protective of my body. I do not want it violated or killed! All right?! I need help! [pause again] Speak any English?! [hangs up] DICK HEAD!"