Helen Rowland

"It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son—and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

"A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor."

"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isnt a sign that they "dont understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to."

"What a man calls his "conscience" is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love."

"Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast."

"France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America"."

"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her—when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?"

"Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman cant be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time."

"To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

"Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her."

"A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting."

"Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man."