Jim Butcher

"Spelunking is dangerous enough without adding in anything that could be described with the word "ravening"."

"Harry Dresden: Paranoid? Probably. But just because youre paranoid doesnt mean that there isnt an invisible demon about to eat your face."

"Karrin Murphy: Yes, Your honor, your victim was killed by a werewolf."

"Harry Dresden: In McAnallys pub and grill, there arent any service people. According to Mac, if you cant get up and walk over to pick up your own order, you dont need to be there at all."

"Harry Dresden: Sometimes I hate having a conscience, and a stupidly thorough sense of honor."

"Harry Dresden: Maybe it wasnt anything Id done. Maybe the monsters had gone on strike. Yeah right."

"Harry Dresden: Id made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero. Harry Dresden, breaker of monsters hearts."

"Michael Carpenter: I still can’t believe, that you came to the Vampires’ Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire. Harry Dresden: Not only that, but a cheesy vampire."

"Harry Dresden: Dont mess with a wizard when hes wizarding!"

"Bob Heres where I ask why dont you spend your time doing something safer and more boring. Like maybe administering suppositories to rabid gorillas."

"Harry Dresden: Sometimes the most remarkable things seem commonplace. I mean, when you think about it, jet travel is pretty freaking remarkable. You get in a plane, it defies the gravity of an entire planet by exploiting a loophole with air pressure, and it flies across distances that would take months or years to cross by any means of travel that has been significant for more than a century or three. You hurtle above the earth at enough speed to kill you instantly should you bump into something, and you can only breathe because someone built you a really good tin can that seems tight enough to hold in a decent amount of air. Hundreds of millions of man-hours of work and struggle and research, blood, sweat, tears and lives have gone into the history of air travel, and it has totally revolutionised the face of our planet and societies. But get on any flight in the country, and I absolutely promise you that you will find someone who, in the face of all that incredible achievement, will be willing to complain about the drinks. The drinks, people. That was me on the staircase to Chicago-Over-Chicago. Yes, I was standing on nothing but congealed starlight. Yes, I was walking up through a savage storm, the wind threatening to tear me off and throw me into the freezing waters of lake Michigan far below. Yes, I was using a legendary and enchanted means of travel to transcend the border between one dimension and the next, and on my way to an epic struggle between ancient and elemental forces. But all I could think to say, between panting breaths, was, "Yeah. Sure. They couldnt possibly have made this an escalator."

"Harry Dresden: Santa is a much bigger and more powerful faery than Toot, and I dont know his true name anyway. Youd never see me trying to nab Saint Nick in a magic circle even if I did. I dont think anyone has stones that big."