Ogden Nash

"It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts. One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you oughtnt..."

"I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Indeed, unless the billboards fall, Ill never see a tree at all."

"The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you, How do, Isabel, now Ill eat you! Isabel, Isabel, didnt worry. Isabel didnt scream or scurry. She washed her hands, and she straightened her hair up, Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up."

"Oh, things are frequently what they seem, And this is wisdoms crown: Only the game fish swims upstream, But the sensible fish swims down."

"Behold the hippopotamus! We laugh at how he looks to us, And yet in moments dank and grim, I wonder how we look to him."

"Hark, hark! the lark On windswept bark Freezes against a sky of lead! Now see him stop, Take one small hop, And suddenly keel over dead!"

"Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are naive."

"Children arent happy with nothing to ignore, And thats what parents were created for."

"Once in a night as black as pitch Isabel met a wicked old witch. the witchs face was cross and wrinkled, The witchs gums with teeth were sprinkled. Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed, Ill turn you into an ugly toad! Isabel, Isabel, didnt worry. Isabel didnt scream or scurry. She showed no rage and she showed no rancor, But she turned the witch into milk, and drank her."

"Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind."

"I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it."

"Time is timelessness for you; Calendars for the human; Whats a year, or thirty, to Loveliness made woman?"