Portal 2

"Do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did? I discovered I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature. In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was able – well, forced, really – to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever. You know, if youd done that to someone else, they might devote their existence to exacting revenge."

"This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in 3... 2... 1..."

"If the Enrichment center is currently being bombarded with fireballs, meteorites, or other objects from space, please avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space-debris does not appear to be a deliberate part of the test."

"This next test applies the principles of momentum to movement through portals. If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future… God help you."

"Template. [Turret: Hello?] Response. [Turret: Hello.]"

"Well done. Here come the test results: "You are a horrible person." [subtitles read: "Im serious;"] Thats what it says: a horrible person. We werent even testing for that."

"[after Chell completes Enrichment Sphere 4] Great job, astronaut, war hero, and/or Olympian! With your help, were gonna change the world! [tape cuts out] This on? [taps thumb 3 times] Hey, listen up down there. That things called an elevator. Not a bathroom. [GLaDOS: I swear I know him...]"

"Oh, its a core youve put on me! Who told you to do that? Was it her? Its just making me stronger, luv! Its a fools errand!"

"That jumpsuit youre wearing looks stupid. Thats not me talking, its right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks "stupid". Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably – Oh, wait. Its a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!"

"Excellent! Youre a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess "sharks"? Because thats wrong. The correct answer is "nobody". Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel."

"[Chell and GLaDOS are exiting Pump Station Gamma when GLaDOS sees a bird] Agh, bird, bird! Kill it! Its evil. [bird flies away] It flew off! Good. For him. Alright, back to thinking."

"All these Science Spheres are made of asbestos by the way, keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because thats not part of the test, thats asbestos. Good news is the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of 44.6 years, so if youre thirty or older youre laughing. Worst case scenario you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta, plus youve forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face."