Richard Pryor

"I expected Dracula to come jumping out any second. If he did Id have held up a cross, cause hes allergic to bullshit."

"Let me tell you what really happened... Every night before I go to bed, I have milk and cookies. One night I mixed some low-fat milk and some pasteurized, then I dipped my cookie in and the shit blew up."

"Why me? Ten million motherfuckers freebasing, and Im the one who blows up!"

"I went through every phone book in Africa, and I didnt find one god damned Pryor!"

"I went to penitentiary one time, not me personally, but me and Gene went there for a movie. "Arizona State Penitentiary" Population: 80 percent black people. But there are no black people in Arizona, they have to bus motherfuckers in!"

"When that fire hit your ass, it will sober your ass up quick! I saw something, I went, "Well, thats a pretty blue. You know what? That looks like... FIRE! Fire is inspirational. They should use it in the Olympics, because I ran the 100 in 4.3."

"I dont want to go through life as a Wonder Wheel murderer!"

"When I was in Africa, this voice came to me and said, "Richard, what do you see?" I said, I see all types of people." The voice said, "But do you see any niggers?" I said, "No." It said, "Do you know why? Cause there arent any."

"Have you ever noticed how quiet you get when you go in the woods? Its almost like you know that Gods there."

"Id like to die like my father died... My father died fucking. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time."

"Sick of hearing this shit about me not talking... not true... good days, bad days... but I still am a talkin motherfucker!"

"Im chasing Richard Pryor, man. I have not done—I still havent done my version of his Long Beach concert. Ive done some good stuff, but Richard Pryor in Long Beach? Thats the greatest piece of stand-up ever done."