What Women Want

"[presenting the Nike ad to their executives, providing the narration for the ad, with Darcy and Wanamaker observing] You dont stand in front of a mirror before a run and wonder what the road will think of your outfit. You dont have to listen to its jokes and pretend that theyre funny in order to run on it. It would not be easier to run if you dressed sexier. The road doesnt notice if youre not wearing lipstick, does not care how old you are. You do not feel uncomfortable because you make more money than the road. And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it, whether its been a day or even a couple of hours since your last date. The only thing the road cares about...is that you pay it a visit once in a while. Nike: No games, just sports."

"Why do guys like to do it in front of a mirror? Because "objects appear larger than they actually are"."

"You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman. Nick, come on, admit it. Youre totally and completely gay!"

"Theres way too much estrogen on TV these days."

"[After going through a painful attempt to wax his leg hair] Women are insane. Who would do that more than once? ...Why would they do the other leg?"

"You know that whole deal about "penis envy"? Not true. No. Half of women dont even like it. You know who has penis envy? We do. Thats why we cheat and we lie, because were all obsessed with our own equipment!"

"Then dont let a little thing like me firing you stand in your way."

"I dont want that to be it. I dont want that to be it at all."

"[Thinking] Im flirting, what is wrong with me? [turns around and looks away, then back at him, but...] Oh, God, I just looked at his penis! I just hope he didnt see me... [Nick ruffles his pants; Darcy covers her eyes with her hands as Nick laughs] Oh shit, I just looked at it again! Stop it!"

"What kind of knight in shining armor would I be if the man I love needs rescuing and I just let him walk out my door?"

"My dad? Hes always been...like an uncle to me. Yeah, Uncle Dad."

"I think this is the one! [thinking] I cant believe this it what Ill be wearing the last night Im a virgin! ...Or should I say, what Ill be taking off?"