Grisham J. Hardbottle, P.I.: Like a tree, cut down in its prime, I was — Ctrl+Alt+Del

"Ethan: Books are only for deaf and blind people that cant enjoy movies."

"Ethan: And yet, if I were to sneak in at night and plant an axe into your skull, I would go to jail. How is that justice?!"

"Ethan: See, youre cute. You cant be a cute girl and play video games. This would tear the fabric of the universe."

"Lucas: "...And then every single one of my brain cells cried out in joyful unison, that they would be spared further torment at the hands of this fucknut-saturated environment."

"Ethan: A talking, flying bottle of booze? Great, Ive fucking snapped."

"Ethan: A part of me has died today. Its all Britney Spears fault."

"How seldom, Friend! a good great man inherits Honour or wealth, with all his worth and pains! It sounds like stories from the land of spirits, If any man obtain that which he merits, Or any merit that which he obtains.   . For shame, dear Friend! renounce this canting strain! … Greatness and goodness are not means, but ends! Hath he not always treasures, always friends, The good great man? Three treasures, and , And , regular as infants breath; And three firm friends, more sure than day and night, , his , and the Angel ."

"He who loves is not ashamed before men of what he does for God, neither does he hide it through shame though the whole world should condemn it."

"Shamino: (when the player clicks repeatedly on a cat) Bloody cats!"

"A cloud was on the mind of men, and wailing went the weather, Yea, a sick cloud upon the soul when we were boys together. Science announced nonentity and art admired decay; The world was old and ended: but you and I were gay; Round us in antic order their crippled vices came — Lust that had lost its laughter, fear that had lost its shame."

"And then it happened. Suddenly, shamelessly, and without warning, as it must in all musical comedies, they were struck by... a love song."

"Prisoner in Castle British dungeon: "Shamino, speak up man!"