Listen: We are here on Earth to fart around. Dont let anybody tell you — Timequake

"Western Civilizations second unsuccessful attempt to commit suicide."

"You want to know why I don’t have AIDS, why Im not HIV-positive like so many other people? I don’t fuck around. It’s as simple as that."

"If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off."

"Those artsy-fartsy twerps next door create living, breathing, three-dimensional characters with ink on paper. … As though the planet weren’t already dying because it has three billion too many living, breathing, three-dimensional characters."

"If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don’t have nerve enough to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts."

"There is no way a beautiful woman can live up to what she looks like for any appreciable length of time."