Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe man. Clinton is playing right here! — PCU

"Mmm. Warm, flat beer. Soggy chips. Think about that."

"Afrocentrist: And the walls are painted white. And the chalk is white. And even the copy machine paper is white. This, my friend, is a white devils conspiracy."

"Just one binger to brighten up your day"

"These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it . . . for about a week."

"Are you just sitting around your dorm rooms playing cards and eating pizza? Is this the way you spent the majority of your four years in college? Would you like tonight to be different, you just dont have any place to go? Well, now you do! So turn off your radios and head on over. Tonight, at the Pit: Everyone Gets Laid."

"Sanskrit. Youre majoring in a 5,000 year old dead language."