"Sam: We want to bring him out. Here he is, Mr. Doug Bady, ladies and gentlemen. Doug Bady, the littlest fucking Outlaw, here he is! Oh, hes drinking a beer. Thats alright. Im just not used to seeing one of Jerrys Kids with a fucking beer, but... Doug Bady, a man that loves Jerry Lewis, appreciates what Jerry has done. And Doug, Jerry Lewis, isnt he wonderful? Doug: Fuck him! Sam: Jesus Christ, man, what are you saying? Doug: Hes a piece of shit, hes never done anything for me. Sam: You cant...you cant say this about Jerry Lewis in Las Vegas on the telethon weekend! Doug: Why not? Hes never done anything for me, thirty years hes been running the telethon! Sam: What are you saying? Doug: That son of a bitch! He hasnt done a goddamn thing for me! Sam: Jerry Lewis has never done a thing for you? Doug: No! Hes been doing this goddamn telethon for thirty years now, hes made, what, two or three billion dollars... Sam: Who gave him the beer? WHO GAVE HIM THE BEER?! Doug: ...I havent seen dime one! Sam: Get him out of here, hes fucking drunk! Get him out of here! He hates Jerry Lewis, never did a fucking thing...you little bitter BASTARD! YOURE BITTER! Take his ass off my stage! Fuckin BEAT HIM, BEAT HIM!!! TAKE HIS CHAIR! BEAT HIS LITTLE BITTER FUCKING ASS! Doug: Actually, what I meant to say was...I love Jerry. Great guy."
Samuel Burl Kinison was an American stand-up comedian and actor. A former Pentecostal preacher, he performed stand-up routines that were characterized by intense sudden tirades, punctuated with his distinctive scream. Initially performing for free, Kinison became a regular fixture at The Comedy Store, where he met and eventually befriended such comics as Robin Williams and Jim Carrey.
"Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, its an easy diagram to remember, its like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee." Shes thinking youre from fuckin Europe or somethin: "OH GOD, WHERED YOU LEARN THAT, OHHH," and youre going "A, B, C, D, E, F, G"."
Sam Kinison"We dont WANT to drink and drive ... But theres no other way to get the fucking CAR back to the HOUSE!! How are we supposed to get fucking home??!!"
Sam Kinison"Today were going to try and say his name...OH! OHHH! Can you even say a part of his name--OH! OHHH!"
Sam Kinison"I was in Rochester, New York. I was an absolutely-nobody part-timer, jack-of-trades; would do whatever the radio station asked of me. And one day, Sam Kinison walked in. The mic went on, and he just spoke his mind. And he was outrageous, he was funny, he was sensitive at times. And a light bulb went off in my head, where I realized, "Oh my god, I can do this different." Just—you gotta just be yourself. … I started blowing off everything I knew about radio after that day."
Sam Kinison"I didnt think it was that big of a fucking deal, theres bigger news stories happening. Theres a guy in Milwaukee with heads in his icebox, but our top story is: Sam Kinison missed the Joan Rivers Show. Its like Im the only guy in show business thats fucked up recently. Theres a couple guys that, I think, have like outdone me a little bit. Like Rick fucking James, for starters. I missed a show, I didnt torture a woman with a fucking base pipe, Im not out on $500,000 bail. Im not Billy Preston, whos going "ah, donde esta la fiesta?" How about Axl Rose, who has a warrant out for his arrest in the state of Missouri for inciting a riot, $300,000 worth of damage, 60 people injured, and I MISSED A SHOW!"
Sam Kinison"You want to help world hunger? Stop sending them food. Dont send them another bite, send them U-Hauls. Send them a guy that says, "You know, weve been coming here giving you food for about 35 years now and we were driving through the desert, and we realized there wouldnt BE world hunger if you people would live where the FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT!! UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!! NOTHING GROWS HERE! NOTHINGS GONNA GROW HERE! Come here, you see this? This is sand. You know what its gonna be 100 years from now? ITS GONNA BE SAND!! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! We have deserts in America, we just dont LIVE in them, assholes!"
Sam Kinison"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
Rumi"yes is a pleasant country... love is a deeper season than reason"
E. E. Cummings"true lovers in each happening of their hearts live longer than all which and every who"
E. E. Cummings"What concerns me fundamentaly is a meteoric burlesk melodrama, born of the immemorial adage love will find a way."
E. E. Cummings"Who made you glorious as the gates of heaven Beneath the keen full moon? Who bade the sun Clothe you with rainbows? Who, with living flower Of loveliest blue, spread garlands at your feet? God! let the torrents, like a shout of nations, Answer! and let the ice-plains echo, God! God! sing, ye meadow-streams, with gladsome voice! Ye pine-groves, with your soft and soul-like sounds! And they too have a voice, yon piles of snow, And in their perilous fall shall thunder, God!"
Samuel Taylor Coleridge"Unchanged within, to see all changed without, Is a blank lot and hard to bear, no doubt. Yet why at others Wanings shouldst thou fret? Then only mightst thou feel a just regret, Hadst thou withheld thy love or hid thy light In selfish forethought of neglect and slight."
Samuel Taylor Coleridge