The only time its an issue, I suppose, would be like if youre having a — Sarah Silverman

"You look like my friend Debbie. Thats really weird … do you get that a lot? — Its sad, though, cause you know, were not really friends anymore. But, uh, its not your fault. Seriously, it was cause shes, um … not "born again Christian" … oh! — "pathological liar."

"Im so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse."

"I got jury duty … and I didnt want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put I hate chinks." And I said, "Im not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I dont want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesnt?"

"I commend you on all youve done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health."

"I wear this Saint Christopher medal sometimes, because – Im Jewish, but my boyfriend is Catholic. It was cute, the way he gave it to me. He said if it doesnt burn through my skin, it will protect me. Who cares? Different religions."

"I didnt lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way". I always think I should get on it if I want to have kids. Because once you hit thirty it can be difficult to conceive — it can be dangerous. The best time to conceive is when youre a black teenager."

"As long as you keep getting born, it’s okay to die sometimes."

"The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum - even encourage the more critical and dissident views. That gives people the sense that theres free thinking going on, while all the time the presuppositions of the system are being reinforced by the limits put on the range of the debate."

"History is a strange experience. The world is quite small now; but history is large and deep. Sometimes you can go much farther by sitting in your own home and reading a book of history, than by getting onto a ship or an airplane and traveling a thousand miles. When you go to Mexico City through space, you find it a sort of cross between modern Madrid and modern Chicago, with additions of its own; but if you go to Mexico City through history, back only 500 years, you will find it as distant as though it were on another planet: inhabited by cultivated barbarians, sensitive and cruel, highly organized and still in the Copper Age, a collection of startling, of unbelievable contrasts."

"As soon as a thought or word becomes a tool, one can dispense with actually ‘thinking’ it, that is, with going through the logical acts involved in verbal formulation of it. As has been pointed out, often and correctly, the advantage of mathematics—the model of all neo-positivistic thinking—lies in just this ‘intellectual economy.’ Complicated logical operations are carried out without actual performance of the intellectual acts upon which the mathematical and logical symbols are based. … Reason … becomes a fetish, a magic entity that is accepted rather than intellectually experienced."

"Our feminist culture at the present moment is completely dependent on capitalism. My grandmother was still scrubbing clothes on the back porch on a washboard!"

"A word of the faith that never balks, Here or henceforward it is all the same to me, I accept Time absolutely. It alone is without flaw, it alone rounds and completes all, That mystic baffling wonder alone completes all. (23)"