There is a curious parallel between Will Rogers and Abraham Lincoln. T — Will Rogers

"This would be a great world to dance in if we didnt have to pay the fiddler."

"But its just as Mr. Brisbane and I have been constantly telling you, "Dont gamble"; take all your savings and buy some good stock, and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it dont go up, dont buy it."

"You cant say that civilization dont advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way."

"Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is."

"I not only "dont choose to run" but I dont even want to leave a loophole in case I am drafted, so I wont "choose". I will say "wont run" no matter how bad the country will need a comedian by that time."

"Diplomacy is the same as saying "nice doggie" until you have a chance to pick up a rock."

"At one point a heated discussion arose over the possible interpretation of Lolita as a grandiose metaphor of the classic Europeans hopeless love for young, seductive, barbaric America. In his afterword to the novel Nabokov himself mentions this as the naive theory of one of the publishers who turned the book down. And although there cant be the slightest doubt that Nabokov did not mean to limit Lolita to that interpretation, there is no reason to exclude it as one of the novels many dimensions. The point, I felt, became obvious when one drew the line between Lolita as a delightfully frivolous story on the verge of pornography and Lolita as a literary masterpiece, the only convincing love story of our century."

"Lovely food, for rabbits, that is."

"One makes mistakes; that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved."

"[explaining to Ernie how April apologized to him] She just showed up at the factory, took off her coat, and begged me to take her. We made love in a way that Ive only ever seen in nature films."

"Love is always love, come whence it may. A heart that beats at your approach, an eye that weeps when you go away are things so rare, so sweet, so precious that they must never be despised."

"He was obeyed, yet he inspired neither love nor fear, nor even respect. He inspired uneasiness. That was it! Uneasiness. Not a definite mistrust — just uneasiness — nothing more. You have no idea how effective such a... a... faculty can be. He had no genius for organizing, for initiative, or for order even. That was evident in such things as the deplorable state of the station. He had no learning, and no intelligence. His position had come to him — why? Perhaps because he was never ill . . . He had served three terms of three years out there . . . Because triumphant health in the general rout of constitutions is a kind of power in itself."