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"Well, my brother says "hello"! So, hooray for speech therapy."
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Emo PhilipsWhen I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" — Emo Philips
"When I was a kid my dad would say, "Emo, do you believe in the Lord?" Id say, "Yes!" Hed say, "Then stand up and shout Hallelujah!" So I would … and Id fall out of the roller coaster."
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Emo Philips
Emo Philips
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Emo Philips is an American stand-up comedian and actor. His stand-up comedy persona makes use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice.
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"I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. But then I realized that no therapy session would ever cheer me up half as much as if I was just strolling along and found a hundred dollar bill."
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Emo PhilipsQuote
"When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, dont go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.."
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Emo PhilipsQuote
"New Yorks such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "Id like a card." He says, "You have to prove youre a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him."
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Emo PhilipsQuote
"My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what shes reading."
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Emo PhilipsQuote
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was... conscious. … But I love her from the hair on her head to the tag on her toes.""
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Emo Philips