Humour & Wit Quotes — page 2

An infinite God ought to be able to protect himself, without going in partnership with State Legislatures.

1048. Call your Husband Cuckold in Jest and he'll ne'er suspect you.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

Nevere yit Was non, which half so loste his wit Of drinke, as thei of such thing do Which cleped is the jolif wo.

Our Poets make us laugh at Tragœdy, And with their Comoedies they make us cry.

Farewell, woman! I intend Henceforth every night to sit With my lewd, well-natured friend, Drinking to engender wit.

...the huge church [...] was thundering its gospel under her eyes.To have Niagara for a rival is no joke. Hazard spoke with no such authority; and Esther's next idea was one of wonder how, after listening here, any preacher could have the …

'Tis mighty easy o'er a glass of wine On vain refinements vainly to refine, To laugh at poverty in plenty's reign, To boast of apathy when out of pain, And in each sentence, worthy of the schools, Varnish'd with sophistry, to deal out rules

The fund of sensible discourse is limited; that of jest and badinerie is infinite.

It has been often remarked that earnest men excel in humor, and we perceive how benign is the law which thus tempers elements of fearful intensity.

Good humour is the only shield to keep off the darts of the satirical railer: if you have a quiver well stored, and are sure of hitting him between the joints of the harness, do not spare him; but you had better not bend your bow than miss …

Power, unless managed with gentleness and discretion, does but make a man the more hated. No intervals of good-humor, no starts of bounty, will atone for tyranny and oppression.

It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, …

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.

No Man is so much a Fool as not to have Wit enough sometimes to be a Knave ; nor any so cunning a Knave, as not to have the Weakness sometimes to play the Fool.

For all that Nature by her mother-wit Could frame in earth.

Sudden Glory, is the passion which maketh those Grimaces called LAUGHTER.

If you could be alarmed into the semblance of modesty, you would charm everybody; but remember my joke against you about the Moon and the Solar System;—"Damn the solar system! bad light — planets too distant — pestered with comets — feeble …

it is notorious that illusions are shattered by conflict with reality, so no real happiness, no real wit, no real profundity are tolerated where the illusion prevails.

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains, And the women come out to cut up what remains, Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An' go to your Gawd like a soldier. Go, go, go like a soldier, Go, go, go like a soldier,

Of Manners gentle, of Affections mild; In Wit, a Man; Simplicity, a Child.

In a word, human life is more governed by fortune than by reason; is to be regarded more as a dull pastime than as a serious occupation; and is more influenced by particular humour, than by general principles.

The house of laughter makes a house of woe.

As for myself, I am simply Hop-Frog, the jester — and this is my last jest.