Humour & Wit Quotes — page 4

Wine whets the wit, improves its native force…

A Senator of the U.S., a woman, is still a sort of political joke with our masculine leaders in party politics.. But the trail has been blazed! The road is apparently rough—maybe rocky—but the trail has been located. It is an established …

You could not give me toys in those bleak days; So when my playmates proudly boasted theirs, You caught me to the shelter of your arms, And taught me how to laugh away my tears.

Mr. Justice Lopes: Why did you refuse information to the police? Butler: I always refuse information to the police. (Laughter) Lopes: That quite answers my question, I admit. (Laughter) I hope if you always refuse information to the …

It is never entirely safe to laugh at the metaphysics of the 'man-in-the-street'. Basic ideas which have become enshrined in popular language cannot be wholly foolish or unwarranted. For that sort of canonization must mean, at least, that …

And wit's the noblest frailty of the mind.

Can you, who have always been used to serenity and order in a family, to rational, refined, and improving conversation, relinquish them, and launch into the whirlpool of frivolity, where the correct taste and the delicate sensibility which …

Now, children, you must never laugh At the stately tall giraffe. She's sensitive, as you can tell; But, my dears, she kicks like hell!

Fierce for the right, he bore his part In strife with many a valiant foe; But Laughter winged his polished dart, And kindness tempered every blow.

Though I am young, I scorn to flit On the wings of borrowed wit.

So ferr I fallyng into lufis dance, That sodeynly my wit, my contenance, My hert, my will, my nature and my mynd, Was changit clene ryght in anothir kynd.

I never started to plow in my life That some one did not stop in the road And take me away to a dance or picnic. I ended up with forty acres; I ended up with a broken fiddle — And a broken laugh, and a thousand memories,

A prig is a pompous fool who has gone out for a ceremonial walk, and without knowing it has lost an important part of his attire, namely, his sense of humour.

He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.

Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that Humour excites in those who lack it.

I was not myself on that night. The wine was in and the wit was out.

And this doth show how a man may act foolishly, even when he doth believe that he hath a great caution; and surely it is borne in upon me afresh that none should trust over freely unto unproven matters, the which shall you heartily agree …

America has no north, no south, no east, no west; the sun rises over the hills and sets over the mountains, the compass just points up and down, and we can laugh now at the absurd notion of there being a north and a south. ... We are one …

April, April, Laugh thy girlish laughter; Then, the moment after, Weep thy girlish tears!

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a …

But as Cowley was apt to be a little out of humour between whiles, let us hear the honourable, pious, and sweet-tempered Mr. Boyle, who, among the troubles of life, enumerates as one “the business of receiving senseless visits, whose …

The mind while we are in this present life, whether it contemplate, meditate, deliberate, or howsoever exercise itself, worketh nothing without continual recourse unto imagination, the only storehouse of wit and peculiar chair of memory.

Fight virtue's cause, stand up in wit's defence, Win us from vice, and laugh us into sense.

R-E-M-O-R-S-E! Those dry Martinis did the work for me; Last night at twelve I felt immense, To-day I feel like thirty cents. My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot, I’ll try to eat, but I cannot.