That morning, when my wife eloped

"Guten Morgen, mon ami! Heute ist es schönes Wetter! Charmé de vous voir ici! Never saw you looking better!"

Billy, in one of his nice new sashes, Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes; Now, although the room grows chilly, I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.

"There's been an accident!" they said, "Your servant's cut in half; he's dead." "Indeed!" said Mr Jones, "and please Give me the half that's got my keys."

What hours I spent of precious time, What pints of ink I used to waste, Attempting to secure a rhyme To suit the public taste, Until I found a simple plan Which makes the lamest lyric scan!When I’ve a syllable de trop,

"Ich muss cherchez mon hôtel. What a charming Schwätzerei, sir! Lebe wohl! Adieu! Farewell! Vive le Congo! Hoch der Kaiser!"

When Grandmamma fell off the boat, And couldn’t swim, and wouldn’t float, Maria just sat by and smiled - I almost could have slapped the child!