Quote
"In school they told me "Practice makes perfect." And then they told me "Nobodys perfect," so then I stopped practicing."
Steven WrightAbout five years ago, somebody showed me some web sites that had my ma — Steven Wright
"About five years ago, somebody showed me some web sites that had my material all over them, and I thought that was fascinating. One reason was, Id never seen my jokes written one right after another like that. I write on drawing paper—I dont even like lines on the paper—so I have notebooks all over the place with handwritten pieces of my act in them. So to see it go by, all typed out neatly, was like, "Wow." And then two or three years ago, someone showed me a site, and half of it that said I wrote it, I didnt write. Recently, I saw one, and I didnt write any of it. Whats disturbing is that with a few of these jokes, I wish I had thought of them. A giant amount of them, Im embarrassed that people think I thought of them, because some are really bad."
Steven Wright
Steven Wright
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Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and film producer. He is known for his distinctive lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.
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"[unenthusiastically at the beginning of every show in response to audience applause] "Thanks."
Steven WrightQuote
"I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didnt hear a thing."
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"I bought some powdered water, but I dont know what to add."
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"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said Are you going to help? I said No, Six should be enough."
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"I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they werent included, so I had to buy them again."
Steven WrightMore on Books
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"Kath Two was the sort of person whose caches were apt to be crammed with paper books. For her, the electronic books were an insurance policy of sorts. The four-day elevator ride might be nothing more than a prelude to further journeys, some of which might take her to places with little to no bandwidth, and nothing was worse than getting stuck in a situation like that with nothing to read."
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Neal StephensonQuote
"But the best problem I ever found, I found in my local public library. I was just browsing through the section of math books and I found this one book, which was all about one particular problem -- Fermats Last Theorem."
Andrew WilesQuote
"A grave thort strike me:ALL BOOKS WHICH BOYS HAV TO READ ARE WRONG"
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MolesworthQuote
"An extrapolation of its present rate of growth reveals that in the not too distant future Physical Review will fill bookshelves at a speed exceeding that of light. This is not forbidden by general relativity since no information is being conveyed."
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David MerminQuote
"Ten hostages is terrorism; A million, and its strategy. To ban books is fanaticism; To threaten in totality All culture and all civilization, All humankind and all creation, This is a task of decorous skill And needs high statesmanship and will."
Vikram SethQuote
"Perhaps the only true desire of mankind, coming thus to light in its hours of leisure, is to be set at rest. One is never set at rest by Mr. Henry Jamess novels. His books end as an episode in life ends. You remain with the sense of the life still going on; and even the subtle presence of the dead is felt in that silence that comes upon the artist-creation when the last word has been read. It is eminently satisfying, but it is not final. Mr. Henry James, great artist and faithful historian, never attempts the impossible."
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Henry James (book)