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"2029? Thats not a real year. By 2029, Ill be drinking moon juice with President Jonathan Taylor Thomas."
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John MulaneyI dont like confrontation, cause Ive never been in a fight before. Tho — John Mulaney
"I dont like confrontation, cause Ive never been in a fight before. Though maybe you could tell that from the first moment I walked out on stage. I dont give off that vibe. Some people give off a vibe of, like... Right away, theyre like "Do not fuck with me." My vibe is more like, "Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and Ill probably apologize to you."
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John Mulaney
John Mulaney
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John Edmund Mulaney is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, Mulaney first rose to prominence for his work as a writer for the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live from 2008 to 2013, where he contributed to numerous sketches and characters, including Stefon, a recurring character whom he and Bill Hader co-created. Since his depart
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"I loved being a temp, because I would just go from office to office and be terrible at a different job for a week."
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John MulaneyQuote
"Marijuana is legal in, like, 18 or 19 states in one form or another. Its insane. Yeah, well... All right, dont "whoo" if youre white. Its always been legal for us."
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John MulaneyQuote
"You remember being 12, when youre like, "No one look at me or Ill kill myself."
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John MulaneyQuote
"The world is run by robots, and we spend most of our day telling them that were not a robot just to log on and look at our own stuff."
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John MulaneyQuote
"I didnt mean to make it sound like we dont want children. We dont, but I didnt mean to make it sound like that."
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John Mulaney