Humour & Wit Quotes — page 5

Poets are the whetstones of wit.

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Death is an old joke, but it comes like new to everyone.

A few centuries ago one King who stood up against the common people of that day lost his head—lost it really. (Laughter and cheers.) Later, one of his descendants was told to get out as quickly as he could. Since that day Kings and Queens …

Livin' an' lovin'; learnin' to fergive The deeds an' words of some un'appy bloke Who's missed the bus—so 'ave I come to live, An' take the 'ole mad world as 'arf a joke.

You see Georgy’s the beauty and Carry’s the wit, and I ought to be the good one, but then I am such a liar.

Prosperity doth bewitch men, seeming clear; But seas do laugh, show white, when rocks are near.

Know that all the sophistications in the knowledge are mostly mistakes that should fall before the truth. Yet, the truth itself is simple, without any wit.

...an awkward loon- whom I do sometimes care about- who has more wit than money- more good sense than wit- more urbanity than sense- and more pride than some princes

So I spit back at you, Huelsenbeck But where you spit venom, I spit art I laugh at you -- HA HA -- I laugh at you

Opinions offensive are of two sorts: some savoring of impiety, and some of incivility. Against the first, Christ Jesus never called for the sword of steel to help the sword of the spirit, that two-edged sword that comes out of the mouth of …

Thou art the whisper in the gloom, The hinting tone, the haunting laugh: Thou art the adorner of my tomb, The minstrel of mine epitaph.

Generosity without delicacy, like wit without judgment, generally brings as much pain as pleasure.

Thou shalt not laugh, thou shalt not romp, Let's grimly kiss with bated breath; As quietly and solemnly As Life when it is kissing Death.

I am forced, as I have often said, to try to make myself laugh, that I may not cry: for one or other I must do.

We sent him down at last, out of the way. Unwounded; — stout lad, too, before that strafe. Malingering? Stretcher-bearers winked, 'Not half!' Next day I heard the Doc.'s well-whiskied laugh: 'That scum you sent last night soon died. …

Good humor is the clear blue sky of the soul.

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humour.

I bless God, that we had the wit to keep ourselves out of the glorious enterprize of the combined armies, and that we were not tempted by the hope of sharing the spoils in the division of France, nor by the prospect of crushing all …

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days; I fled Him, down the arches of the years; I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears I hid from Him, and under running laughter.

He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it.

Not Solomon, for all his wit, Nor Samson, though he were so strong, No king nor person ever yet Could 'scape, but Death laid him along.

It is not given me to trace The lovely laughter of that face

If humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain.