jaane kyaa phir ji mein aai chal paDe — Pragya Sharma

"roz shaam hote hi shama kaa vo jal jaanaa rafta rafta phir mujh mein mom kaa pighal jaanaa mutmain nahin kartaa chaahe mere haq mein ho Thokarein binaa khaae yuun miraa sanbhal jaanaa bhuul ek lamhe ki umr bhar pashemaani chhuT kar kamaan se yuun tiir kaa vo chal jaanaa darmiyaan donon ke hain tamaam andeshe haadse kaa ho jaanaa haadse kaa Tal jaanaa mahfilon ki vo raunaq qahqahon ki vo gunjein aur phir achaanak hi vaqt kaa badal jaanaa kis qadar tilismi thaa cigarettein sulagte hi us tamaam manzar kaa ik dhuein mein Dhal jaanaa is talab ko kyaa kahiye is junun kaa kyaa kiije ik khayaal ke pichhe yuun miraa nikal jaanaa"

"main kahaan thi kahaan se kahaan ho gai aakhirash ye huaa main dhuaan ho gai dil mein jazba thaa jo vo fanaa ho gayaa ik mohabbat thi jo daastaan ho gai saare armaan mere dhare rah gae saari koshish miri raaegaan ho gai mujh ko dekhaa to dene lagi gaaliyaan meri tanhaai kyaa bad-zabaan ho gai tajraba ye nayaa is safar mein huaa dhuup mein tap ke main saaebaan ho gai ek chehra nigaahon se guzraa hi thaa ek tasvir dil mein nihaan ho gai raakh hotaa gayaa rafta-rafta badan zindagi cigaretton kaa dhuaan ho gai"

"ho na paaeinge yaqin to ik gumaan ho jaaeinge ye kabhi mat sochnaa ham raaegaan ho jaaeinge ham abhi to chup hain lekin bolne par aae to jitne bhi ahl-e-zabaan hain be-zabaan ho jaaeinge sab se achchhaa hai ki apnaa raaz khud ham khol dein varna sab ke saamne ik din ayaan ho jaaeinge gar yuun hi chalti rahi paiham khayaalon ki uDaan uDte uDte ek din ham aasmaan ho jaaeinge itni jaldi to koi bhi moajiza hotaa nahin itni jaldi ham havaa mein gum kahaan ho jaaeinge piine vaalon ke liye to chand pal kaa thaa sukun khauf mein thi cigarettein ab ham dhuaan ho jaaeinge"

"kaun hai mujh mein jo martaa hi chalaa jaataa hai ruuh tak dard utartaa hi chalaa jaataa hai koi manhus havaa hai mire ghar ke andar jo sameTun vo bikhartaa hi chalaa jaataa hai marne vaale hain ki jiite hi chale jaate hain jiine vaalaa hai ki martaa hi chalaa jaataa hai zakhm sahme hue chup-chaap paDe rahte hain dard be-khauf ubhartaa hi chalaa jaataa hai main ne koshish to kai baar ki rokun us ko phir bhi ye vaqt guzartaa hi chalaa jaataa hai jis ke bharne se main be-rang hui jaati huun mujh mein kyon rang vo bhartaa hi chalaa jaataa hai kaisaa paagal hai miraa dil ki samajhtaa hi nahin ishq kartaa hai to kartaa hi chalaa jaataa hai"

"paagal huun puuri ki puuri jhakki huun is se baDh kar kyaa batlaaun kaisi huun teri khaatir kyaa kyaa sochaa thaa main ne teri khaatir kyaa kyaa sochaa karti huun raas aataa hai guDiyon kaa ye khel mujhe andar se shaayad main ab bhi bachchi huun behtar hogaa apni anaa par qaabu rakh varna main bhi apni zid ki pakki huun aisaa lagtaa hai mujh ko pi jaaegaa ye jo gahre paani se main Darti huun jab bhi mujh ko khvaab safar kaa aataa hai uTh kar phir main niind mein chalne lagti huun ek dhuein kaa chhallaa teri cigarette kaa main apni ungli mein pahnaa rakhti huun"

"ye jitne shikve gile hain inhein miTaa kar jaa tu jaanaa chaahtaa hai to gale lagaa kar jaa main bhuul jaaun tujhe yaa main intizaar karun tu apne jaane se pahle mujhe bataa kar jaa ye mere paas rahe to main ji na paaungi tu mere saamne apne ye khat jalaa kar jaa main tere baad kabhi DhunDh hi na paaun tujhe yuun apne aap ko mujh mein kahin chhupaa kar jaa hamaare biich kaa ye faasla mukammal ho abhi talak ki sabhi qurbatein miTaa kar jaa bache-khuche ye charaaghon ko bhi bujhaa de ab ki meri shab ke andheron ko tu baDhaa kar jaa main tujh ko khvaab mein bhi ab kabhi nahin dekhun tu jaa rahaa hai to nindein miri uDaa kar jaa"

"phir khuun mein vahshat raqsaan hai tajdid sitam karne ke liye ik taaza zakhm ki khvaahish hai ik sadma kam karne ke liye ham din-bhar duniyaa-daari mein hans hans ke baatein karte hain phir saari raat pighalte hain ik ashk raqam karne ke liye vo vasl ki jis ne ham donon ko yaksar be-buniyaad kiyaa ab fursat hai aa mil baiThein us vasl kaa gham karne ke liye ik kaari zakhm ki chaahat ne kyaa kyaa na hamein gulzaar kiyaa ham kis kis se mansub hue ik hijr baham karne ke liye insaan ke jiine marne ke majburi ke mukhtaari ke ye saare khel zaruri hain taamir adam karne ke liye"

"chaand bhi khoyaa khoyaa saa hai taare bhi khvaabida hain aaj fazaa ke bojhal-pan se lahje bhi sanjida hain jaane kin kin logon se is dard ke kyaa kyaa rishte the hijr ki is aabaad saraa mein sab chehre naadida hain itne barson baad bhi donon kaise TuuT ke milte hain tu hai kitnaa saada-dil aur ham kitne pechida hain sun jaanaan ham tark-e-taalluq aur kisi din kar leinge aaj tujhe bhi ujlat si hai ham bhi kuchh ranjida hain kaanon mein ik sargoshi hai be-maani si sargoshi aankhon mein kuchh khvaab saje hain khvaab bhi umr-rasida hain ghar ki vo makhdush imaarat gir ke phir taamir hui ab aangan mein peD hain jitne saare shaakh burida hain is basti mein ek saDak hai jis se ham ko nafrat hai us ke niche pagDanDi hai jis ke ham girvida hain"

"raftagaan ki sadaa nahin main huun ye tiraa vaahima nahin main huun tere maazi ke saath dafn kahin meraa ik vaaqi'a nahin main huun kyaa milaa intihaa-pasandi se kyaa main tere sivaa nahin main huun ek muddat mein jaa ke mujh pe khulaa chaand hasrat-zada nahin main huun us ne mujh ko muhaal jaan liyaa main ye kahtaa rahaa nahin main huun main hi 'ujlat mein aa gayaa thaa idhar ye zamaana nayaa nahin main huun meri vahshat se Dar gae shaayad yaar baad-e-fanaa nahin main huun main tire saath rah gayaa huun kahin vaqt Thahraa huaa nahin main huun gaahe gaahe sukhan zaruri hai saamne aaina nahin main huun sarsari kyuun guzartaa hai mujh se ye miraa maajraa nahin main huun us ne puchhaa kahaan gayaa vo shakhs kyaa bataataa ki thaa nahin main huun ye kise dekhtaa hai mujh se udhar tere aage khalaa nahin main huun"

"dast-kash hon na mai-e-gul ke khush-aashaam abhi ki labaalab hain mah-o-mehr ke do-jaam abhi zehn mein saaqi hai mai-khaana hai hai jaam abhi hosh kahtaa huun ise hosh kaa kyaa kaam abhi mujh ko darkaar na hai kufr na islaam abhi sidhe sidhe hi chale aate hain paighaam abhi tu bhi baaqi tiri rahmat bhi hai baaqi saaqi rahne de hai mai-e-isyaan se baDaa kaam abhi khaal-o-gesu se hai ye silsila-e-raaz-o-niyaaz daana sad-daana ho ye daam ho sad-daam abhi ziist ke khvaab ki taabir abhi baaqi hai ibtidaa dekh chuke hai magar anjaam abhi rah-rav-e-ishq abhi duur hai mearaaj-e-habib rashk-e-manzil na huaa raah mein har gaam abhi zarra-zarra hai ik aatish-kada-e-nur kalim dekh agar tu na ho aatish-zada-e-baam abhi imtiyaaz-e-man-o-tu raaz-e-khafi hai lekin khaasgaan ke liye kahtaa huun sar-e-aam abhi aks ko zo'm hai be-misli-e-rang-o-bu kaa turfa ye hai ki muqaabil hai vo gulfaam abhi raaz-goi tiri 'aiman' hai gunaah-e-akbar maang le afv ki us kaa hai karam aam abhi"

"baad-e-shimaal chalne lagi ang ang mein lipTaa hai kaun mujh se ye patjhaD ke rang mein khvaahish ke kaarobaar se bachnaa muhaal hai utregaa tu bhi saath mire is surang mein main aandhiyon mein haath bhi pakDun tiraa to kyaa ik shaakh-e-be-siper huun havaaon ki jang mein 'raanjhaa' main 'ahd-e-nau kaa qabilon mein baT gayaa to 'hir' ban ke pi na saki zahr jhang mein garmaa sakin na chaahatein teraa kaThor jism har ek jal ke bujh gai tasvir sang mein aage 'musavvir' aag 'aqab mein hai ye sadaa pichhe na muD ke dekhnaa is dasht-e-sang mein"

"tifli piiri o naujavaani hech tiin din ki hai zindagaani hech umr-e-do-roza par ghamanD itnaa munimon ki hai lan-taraani hech raat thoDi hai aao pyaar karein subh ko hogi ye kahaani hech chaar din ki bahaar hai saari ye takabbur hai yaar-e-jaani hech dil ke haathon 'haqir' jhagDon mein meri guzri sadaa javaani hech"