apne andhe hone pe chillaaegaa — Humaira Rahman

"hangaamon kaa saaya suuni aankh mein hai kaisaa badan hai aur kaisi poshaak mein hai goyaai taalu se chipki baiThi hai aur sannaaTaa aavaazon ki taak mein hai yaad bujhe to saari 'imaarat Dhah na jaae pichhlaa ek ik lamha meri saakh mein hai ek samundar hai jo aankhein detaa hai tah mein jaane ki himmat pairaak mein hai koi shanaasaa chehra koi miThi baat chingaari hai aur abhi tak raakh mein hai shaakhon par anhoni patjhaD aai hai phuul ki khushbuon kaa manzar khaak mein hai main us ki har baat 'humairaa' likh paaun aisaa lafz kahaan mere idraak mein hai"

"jaagti aankhon se kaisaa saaniha dekhaa gayaa baadalon kaa ghol kuchh qatre lahu barsaa gayaa jis ne apni raushni de kar kharidi tirgi log kahte hain safar par maut ke zinda gayaa us ki khaatir dushmani kis kis ki tu ne mol li chaand aakhir-kaar tere husn kaa gahnaa gayaa jab kabhi 'aurat ki aazaadi kaa uTThaa ghalghala vaqt 'aurat ko nai hi beDiyaan pahnaa gayaa jald us ki khatm ho jaaegi saari aab-o-taab jo adab tahzib apni bhuul kar likkhaa gayaa main ne tujh par aankh munde kar liyaa thaa e'timaad shisha ye TuuTaa to har-su kirchiyaan bikhraa gayaa jo adaakaari ke fan mein baa-kamaal-o-taaq thaa sab se baDh kar is zamaane mein vahi chaahaa gayaa kitni raa'naai thi kitnaa husn thaa us yaad mein rafta rafta zehn jis ko muntashir kartaa gayaa jis ne apni had se baDh kar kiin 'humairaa' khvaahishein baarhaa vo puuraa dariyaa pi ke bhi pyaasaa gayaa"

"vo ek shakhs jo miltaa thaa doston ki tarah badal ke rah gayaa rangin mausamon ki tarah thaa intizaar mujhe jis kaa itni muddat se vo mere saamne aayaa to dushmanon ki tarah bahaar aai ki tu aayaa hai ye 'ilm nahin mahak uThi hai fazaa tere gesuon ki tarah simaT ke rah gai meri bhi shakhsiyat jis mein vo aisaa chhaane lagaa mujh pe vus'aton ki tarah jo teraa naam kisi ne liyaa sharaarat se uDaa ke le gayaa sukh-chain aanchalon ki tarah 'humairaa' itnaa bhi paagal jahaan mein koi na ho kisi kaa dard lage jis ko raahaton ki tarah"

"dhuup jali to basti ki basti taarik hui andhe ghar ke logon ki binaai Thiik hui meri 'imaarat jhuTi buniyaadon pe qaaem thi phir kyon mere malbe se sach ki tahrik hui jo tahrirein main ne tujh se chhup kar likkhi thiin un ki numaaish mere hi ghar ke nazdik hui kamre mein raushan sannaaTon kaa vo 'aalam thaa kiran jharoke se andar aa kar baarik hui kuchh to 'humairaa' aangan mein thi sondhe-pan ki baas aur kuchh ab ki rut mein phulvaari bhi Thiik hui"

"utar aate hain 'alaamaat ke baadal mujh mein koi chuntaa hai kai rang ke chaaval mujh mein ek hamle se to bach jaaungi lekin aage khvaahishon ke kai daste hain haraaval mujh mein phir mire des ke bachchon ki khabar laayaa koi phir khule hain kai andaaz ke maqtal mujh mein roz ug aate hain andeshe nae peDon ke baDh rahaa hai mire inkaar kaa jangal mujh mein itne khush-naam buzurgon mein baDhaa hai miraa qad kaise utregi 'humairaa' koi daldal mujh mein"

"meri ungli ki anguThi mein lagi patthar ki aankh aur darichon mein simaT aai mohalle-bhar ki aankh main to pagli thi mujhe to thaa hi rangon kaa junun qasr mein us shakhs ke chundhyaai thi aksar ki aankh is shab-e-khud-aagahi mein aaine bolaa kiye jaise pathraane lagi khud mere hi andar ki aankh ham use apne liye mahdud samjhe the magar ab khulaa is chaand par 'arse se thi ghar ghar ki aankh saadgi mein ham 'humairaa' jaane kyaa kyaa kah gae kis qadar aahistagi se hans paDi patthar ki aankh"

"is ishq-e-junun-khez mein kyaa kyaa nahin hotaa divaana hai jo qais se lailaa nahin hotaa kuchh hashr lahad par abhi barpaa nahin hotaa aae ho to Thahro koi zinda nahin hotaa kyuun kar ye kahun husn kaa nashsha nahin hotaa hotaa to bahut hai magar itnaa nahin hotaa kuchh kahiye to sharmaa ke jhukaa lete hain gardan bhule se bhi ab vaada-e-fardaa nahin hotaa milte hain vo dil surkh hui jaati hai chuTki naazuk hain bahut khun-e-tamannaa nahin hotaa deti hai mazaa mai kaa hamein talkhi-e-tauba jab haath mein paimaana-e-sahbaa nahin hotaa vo hashr ke din kushte ko Thukraa chuke sau-baar kuchh jaan si paD jaati hai zinda nahin hotaa boli ye tamannaa jo ruke vo dar-e-dil par ghar aap kaa hai aap se pardaa nahin hotaa tiron ko jagah dete hain jo siine mein apne un logon ke ai jaan kaleja nahin hotaa sahraa se qadam ghar ki taraf khaak uThaaun kaanTe se judaa paanv kaa chhaalaa nahin hotaa baiThe nazar aate hain vahi teri gali mein jin kaa kahin duniyaa mein Thikaanaa nahin hotaa furqat mein hai kyuun nazaa ki taklif gavaaraa mar jaaein 'riyaaz' aap se itnaa nahin hotaa"

"hai jo ik maa'raka faisal nahin hone detaa jin vo ho ke mujhe botal nahin hone detaa qatl ik roz hi kartaa huun isi goshe mein aur saabit ise maqtal nahin hone detaa zid hai us ki ki har ik shaakh ho phir sabz hi sabz garche paidaa koi konpal nahin hone detaa raushni apne khayaalon hi se karni hogi koi raushan kahin mash'al nahin hone detaa chun-ki miTTi ki bhi ek apni alag khushbu hai main kahin bhi ise sandal nahin hone detaa ik parinda ki jo sahtaa hai havaaon kaa dabaao aur parvaaz ko paidal nahin hone detaa Dar hai us ko nazar aae na kahin zehn kaa 'aks vo miraa aaina saiqal nahin hone detaa tiraa qaanun hai jangal kaa ghanimat hai ki tu mire is shahr ko jangal nahin hone detaa chalo baat us ki sunein ek 'ajab mantiq se jo kisi baat ko muhmal nahin hone detaa"

"muzhda ai zauq-e-asiri ki nazar aataa hai daam-e-khaali qafas-e-murgh-e-giraftaar ke paas jigar-e-tishna-e-aazaar tasalli na huaa ju-e-khun ham ne bahaai bun-e-har khaar ke paas mund gaiin kholte hi kholte aankhein hai hai khuub vaqt aae tum is 'aashiq-e-bimaar ke paas main bhi ruk ruk ke na martaa jo zabaan ke badle dashna ik tez saa hotaa mire gham-khvaar ke paas dahan-e-sher mein jaa baiThe lekin ai dil na khaDe ho jiye khubaan-e-dil-aazaar ke paas dekh kar tujh ko chaman bas-ki numu kartaa hai khud-ba-khud pahunche hai gul gosha-e-dastaar ke paas mar gayaa phoD ke sar 'ghaalib'-e-vahshi hai hai baiThnaa us kaa vo aa kar tiri divaar ke paas kab faqiron ko rasaai bu-e-mai-khvaar ke paas to bane bu dijiye maikhaane ki divaar ke paas"

"ajab mushkil ki dil kaa haal aisaa ho gayaa hai sabhi ab puchhte hain mujh se ye kyaa ho gayaa hai main ye samjhaa ki gham kaa ab mudaavaa ho gayaa hai kuredaa zakhm to ye aur taaza ho gayaa hai kabhi fursat mile to khud se main baatein karungaa mujhe khud se mile bhi to zamaana ho gayaa hai magar ab sochtaa huun toD duun saare maraasim magar dil bhi tire gham se shanaasaa ho gayaa hai miri barbaad hasti kaa nazaara dekhne ko vo aae aur gham mein phir izaafa ho gayaa hai isi dariyaa mein ab khud ko Dubonaa chaahtaa huun ki is dil kaa talaatum mein kinaare ho gayaa hai chalo bhi 'qalb' ab tum dusraa dekho Thikaanaa ki is basti mein apnaa sab paraayaa ho gayaa hai"

"dil shaad nahin karte aabaad nahin karte mahsus ye hotaa hai vo yaad nahin karte naashaad zamaane ke dil shaad nahin karte kam-aql parindon ko aazaad nahin karte mohtaaj-e-karam aksar rahte hain gharibon ke jo log gharibon ki imdaad nahin karte kuchh log shikaayat ko haq apnaa samajhte hain kuchh log kabhi tum se fariyaad nahin karte ham apne iraadon mein rakhte hain tavaanaai ham daad ke taalib ko bedaad nahin karte jo aap ki niyyat kaa kuchh ilm hamein hotaa ham apni mohabbat ko barbaad nahin karte is daur-e-siyaasat mein 'mahmud' qayaamat hai ahbaab jo karte hain jallaad nahin karte"

"kahe detaa huun go hai to nahin ye baat kahne ki tiri khvaahish nahin dil mein ziyaada der rahne ki bachaa kar dil guzartaa jaa rahaa huun har ta’alluq se kahaan us aable ko taab hai ab choT sahne ki rag-o-pai mein na hangaama kare to kyaa kare aakhir ijaazat jab nahin is ranj ko aankhon se bahne ki bas apni apni tarjihaat apni apni khvaahish hai tujhe shohrat kamaane ki mujhe ik she'r kahne ki jahaan kaa huun vahin ki raas aaegi fazaa mujh ko ye duniyaa bhi bhalaa koi jagah hai mere rahne ki jo kal 'irfaan' par guzri sunaa kuchh us ke baare mein khabar tum ne suni tufaan mein dariyaa ke bahne ki"