khud apni zaat ko pahle mujhe taskhir karnaa thaa — Abida Karamat

"hisaar mein liye be-naam ek vahshat thi yahi mataa' yahi zindagi ki qimat thi kahin qiyaam bhi karte to bad-gumaan rahte hamaare pair se lipTi hui vo hijrat thi tiri talaash faqat zaad-e-raah thi ham ko vagarna ham ko faqat apni hi zarurat thi tamaam 'umr vafaadaar hi rahe apne baraae zakhm tire haath pe bhi bai'at thi milein to pursish-e-ahvaal bhi zaruri thaa ye guftugu bhi koi surat-e-mohabbat thi thakan hi de ke gayaa zaat kaa safar mujh ko ki ye bhi raaegaan shaayad koi masaafat thi zamin pe bojh se apne giri thiin divaarein ye aur baat ki barsaat se shikaayat thi havaa ki zad pe hi aa kar charaagh bujhnaa thaa vagarna phir to rivaayaat se baghaavat thi"

"koi baDh kar sitam mujh par sitam-ijaad kyaa kartaa basaayaa hi nahin jis ko use barbaad kyaa kartaa sikhaayaa bolnaa us ko zabaan-e-be-zabaani se agar lab khol leti main vo phir irshaad kyaa kartaa kahaan qad naaptaa meraa bhalaa ye sher-e-kam-qaamat so meraa sher bhi paa kar siyaasi daad kyaa kartaa nikal vo khud nahin paataa shikanj-e-zaat se apni jo apni qaid mein khud ho mujhe aazaad kyaa kartaa jahaan baazu rasan-basta jahaan qadghan ho lafzon par koi zanjir kyaa hilti koi fariyaad kyaa kartaa agar fitrat ho simaabi tabiat bhi ho sailaani dar-o-divaar kyaa rakhtaa vo ghar aabaad kyaa kartaa rihaai zulm se us ke mayassar aur mumkin thi magar main ne yahi sochaa vo mere baad kyaa kartaa"

"qalam ko khuun mein gharqaab dekhte jaao zamin-e-sher ko shaadaab dekhte jaao nigaah hote hue sail-e-khun pe chup rahnaa hamaare shahr ke aadaab dekhte jaao pahunch gai hai sar-e-arsh un ki khaamoshi ki kushtagaan ko zafar-yaab dekhte jaao sajaae maathe pe apni tamaam taa'birein hamaari aankh ke sab khvaab dekhte jaao sulag rahaa hai koi aur jal rahaa hai koi gharon ki ye bhi tab-o-taab dekhte jaao har ek qabr pe likkhaa huaa hai naam yahaan hamaare mimbar-o-mehraab dekhte jaao gharaz ke sainkaDon baazaar khul gae lekin khulus ho gayaa naayaab dekhte jaao"

"‘uqde khule na mujh pe tire khad-o-khaal ke har saans chal diyaa mujhe uljhan mein Daal ke jo khud ganvaa chukaa hai kahin 'umr-e-mo'tabar vo kyaa hisaab degaa mire maah-o-saal ke aae the meri bazm mein kuchh jam sifaat log jalve na kam hue mire jaam-e-sifaal ke main kyaa huun sirf itnaa hi puchhaa thaa ek din kitne javaab degaa mujhe is savaal ke aandhi ki tarh aa ke chalaa bhi gayaa kahin kankar saa koi vo miri aankhon mein Daal ke jo bhi milaa thaa daulat-e-dil us pe vaar di rakkhaa na koi main ne khazaana sanbhaal ke vo aane vaale vaqt ke tevar samajh gayaa main rishte joDti rahi maazi ke haal ke"

"nadi ehsaas ki chaDhti rahi hai vafaa ki raah mein baDhti rahi hai kisi se jang kyaa laDki kare vo jo apne aap se laDti rahi hai bulandi par pahunch kar kyaa vo pighle pahaaDon par baraf paDti rahi hai sitaara ban ke teri raah mein hai jo afshaan maang se jhaDti rahi hai tumhaare haq mein kaise faisla duun anaa mujh se miri aDti rahi hai bachaa kar qabr se le aae jis ko dar-o-divaar mein gaDti rahi hai"

"aag ke safar mein jab raakh kaa badan hogaa ek saans lenaa bhi zindagi kaa fan hogaa jo bhi main ne sochaa thaa vo hi ab ke likkhaa hai tang aur bhi ab ke halqa-e-rasan hogaa manzilein bhi naa-maa'lum raaste bhi laa-mahdud ye safar bhi lagtaa hai baa'is-e-thakan hogaa us ne meri shaakhon ko is tarah numu bakhshi zakhm ke khileinge phuul dard kaa chaman hogaa ham ko phir zamaane tak log yaad rakkheinge sar ki hogaa neze par jism be-kafan hogaa sina-e-mohabbat mein dard jab nahin hotaa saaz be-sure honge she'r be-vazan hogaa"

"vo mujhe zindagi bataataa hai phir bhalaa kyon nazar churaataa hai main usi ko uThaa rahaa thaa par vo mujhe hi faqat giraataa hai yaad us ko kiyaa yahaan main ne par mujhe vo vahaan bhulaataa hai raaz saare bataa diye main ne kyon magar raaz vo chhupaataa hai log masruf hain mohabbat mein aur vo dil miraa dukhaataa hai"

"dil shaad nahin karte aabaad nahin karte mahsus ye hotaa hai vo yaad nahin karte naashaad zamaane ke dil shaad nahin karte kam-aql parindon ko aazaad nahin karte mohtaaj-e-karam aksar rahte hain gharibon ke jo log gharibon ki imdaad nahin karte kuchh log shikaayat ko haq apnaa samajhte hain kuchh log kabhi tum se fariyaad nahin karte ham apne iraadon mein rakhte hain tavaanaai ham daad ke taalib ko bedaad nahin karte jo aap ki niyyat kaa kuchh ilm hamein hotaa ham apni mohabbat ko barbaad nahin karte is daur-e-siyaasat mein 'mahmud' qayaamat hai ahbaab jo karte hain jallaad nahin karte"

"Tuut kar ab sanvar gayaa huun main is tarah se bikhar gayaa huun main jo tire naam ki gali hai vo us gali se guzar gayaa huun main yaadein teri sameT laayaa huun aaj jab se udhar gayaa huun main khud mukarnaa sikhaa diyaa us ne phir kahaa ki mukar gayaa huun main kal talak jo na kar sakaa thaa main aaj vo kaam kar gayaa huun main yuun kahin main nahin Thahartaa par tere dar par Thahar gayaa huun main"

"bistar-e-karb pe jab niind jalaai main ne tab kisi khvaab ki buniyaad uThaai main ne zakhm aise the ki har shakhs ke aage rakkhe baat aisi thi ki khud se bhi chhupaai main ne hurmat-e-gham ke liye khud ko aziyyat bakhshi phir usi dard se taskin bhi paai main ne main ne zakhmon ko kuredaa unhein taaza rakkhaa tab kahin dasht mein ki naghma-saraai main ne apni khiDki se yunhi khud ko pukaaraa kal shab aur phir khud ko vo aavaaz sunaai main ne jaane vaale se rag-e-jaan kaa bhi rishta thaa 'samir' ye samajhne mein bahut der lagaai main ne"

"zindagi dushvaar hogi ye kabhi sochaa na thaa vo bagule gham ke uTThe jin kaa andesha na thaa saamne tum aa gae ho to bataa duun jaan-e-jaan jaise dil dhaDkaa thaa ab ki vaise dil dhaDkaa na thaa ye iraada kar liyaa thaa ham na bichhDeinge kabhi TuTeinge ik pal mein rishte ye kabhi sochaa na thaa yaad-e-maazi miT rahi hai vaqt ki raftaar se ab tasavvur mein hamaare koi bhi chehra na thaa sakht hairat ho rahi hai dekh kar apnaa vajud dhuup mein the sab ke saaye par miraa saayaa na thaa shauq-e-manzil dekh meri dekh meraa hausla shahr-e-dil ke raaston mein main kabhi Thahraa na thaa 'qalb' ko sahraa-navardi raas kyaa aati bhalaa vo kabhi aavaargi mein dar-ba-dar bhaTkaa na thaa"

"jahaan-e-dard-o-gham hai aur main huun tiraa naqsh-e-qadam hai aur main huun kisi ki aankh nam hai aur main huun vufur-e-shauq kam hai aur main huun mujhe hai daulat-e-kaunain haasil mire rab kaa karam hai aur main huun main apne aap ko pahchaantaa huun miraa apnaa bharam hai aur main huun yahi kyaa kam hai duniyaa-e-vafaa mein mujhe ehsaas-e-gham hai aur main huun kisi ki yaad kaa ehsaan hai mujh par sukun-e-dil baham hai aur main huun mujhe 'mahmud' koi Dar nahin hai miraa apnaa qalam hai aur main huun"